Today my kids have driven me to tears. No matter what i try – days out, sunny holidays, Pokemon hunting, trips to the park and ice creams, they argue, bitch and moan constantly. 

Today I’ve had enough. 

I get tired a lot more easily since my diagnosis but I find the school holidays extremely tiring. Days out take planning and 2 days to recover after. Even walking hurts at the moment. We’ve just been to Majorca but even that was ruined by them moaning. So much for feeling relaxed and refreshed!! 

Facebook is full of families having wonderful times, enjoying the sunny weather and all I want to do is lock mine in a cupboard (jokes) (ok, no jokes). 

I seriously don’t have the energy and I’m not sure how much more I can take. I’ve just washed up the lunch things that Gracie left because she ‘doesn’t like washing up’. Do you know what?! Neither do I!! 

I feel like runnning away so that someone else has to deal with the shit and see that I’m not making it up, exaggerating or being miserable. I’d like to see someone else cope with them for more than 24 hrs, which is the break I get when they’re at their Dads (12 of those, they’re sleeping!) 

I know kids will be kids but seriously, I have had enough. 

Now this is a bit deep but I seriously wonder what the point of life is. It’s certainly not fun. I’m living with secondary breast cancer and everyday just feels like an uphill battle. I’m not afraid of when the time comes. In fact, I’m quite looking forward to the rest. 

 All I do is to try and give them nice things, days out, those all important memories. I don’t know why I bother, I really don’t.

But hey ho. Tomorrow is another day and all that shizz. And tomorrow is Friday – my evening off. Only 24 hours to go – Yes I’m counting!! 


3 thoughts on “Kids!!”

  1. Oh Emma, chin up my lovely, it’s sad to read your post and I’m feeling a bit helpless .
    Re your ref to Facebook – don’t forget that Facebook merely shows the best in life through people’s pictures, but don’t forget it omits the bad days, so please don’t feel that everyone around you is living the perfect dream – they just don’t put up those pictures and statuses on those days.

    If your kids knew how sad you were, would they make more of an effort not to quarrel? I’d hope they would. But I know you are shielding them from absolutely everything which us mums do, but it’s so sad you’re feeling the brunt of it. Is there anyway we/I can help share the load?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Fran. I didn’t mean to make you feel sad though. I’m sure if they knew they’d be upset – Gracie read it and got the hump with me!! I’ve had a tough couple of weeks and it just came to a head yesterday. It’s my night off so I’m resting and planning on going to the gym tomorrow. I haven’t been since I did the half and it really does help me unwind. See you soon for a catch up xx


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