Yesterday I had a rather heated discussion on a local community page I’m a member of. It’s a long story but I was only sticking up for something I love.
I was harassed, belittled and accused of being a bully. I didn’t get personal (apart from telling someone to wind their neck in!) and I took quite a battering!! There was one thing that was said though, that’s cut quite deep.
I was told I’m full of self importance. That upsets me more than being called a bully.
I never set out to be quite so vocal about my illness. I didn’t plan to share my story, to raise awareness or do the media work I’ve done. It just kind of happened. In fact I’ve always said I feel kind of lucky to have had the opportunities I’ve had – I wouldn’t have, had I been ‘normal’ and not diagnosed with secondary breast cancer.
I’ve never asked people to send me messages about their family members, I don’t expect people to talk to me when I’m out shopping and I don’t ask people to ask me for advice. But they do.
I’ve always said if I can help just one person then I’ll be happy and I’d like to think I’ve helped those people.
But to have what I do interpreted as self important is quite upsetting.
I am the first person to take the mickey out of myself. I’m just trying to live my life and have a laugh along the way. I’m not harming anyone.
I understand that not everyone would feel comfortable doing things the way I do and that’s fair enough. But I wouldn’t criticise your choices and don’t expect you to criticise mine.
Believe it or not, I find it quite cringeworthy being told I’m an inspiration- I’ve done nothing inspirational. I’m just trying to live my life as normally as possible for my children so they don’t have to live their childhood under the shadow of cancer.
Nor am I brave. I’m shit scared most of the time but have learnt how to keep a lid on it – see above ^^^^.
So I’m a little upset today because of that comment. It makes me feel like closing the door as I hate to think that people think I’m up my own own arse.
Don’t you know who I am?!!